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My girlfriend's right. I'm such a pessimistic person. I guess it's an inevitable outcome when my eyes opened up to the reality of the world. As the saying goes "ignorance is bliss", and I have chosen the path of uncertainty in my arduous battle toward my dream.
Pessimism has prepared me to expect the worst scenario but also caused me to imagine the worst of humanity. I am blinded by gloom and I couldn't see the goodness of people but merely the fallacies of humanity.
Since I came back to Singapore, nothing has been going right for me, because I had subconsciously compelled myself to focus on the failures of the world around me. Yet, life is beautiful, and it doesn't take much effort to realize that simple fact if we clear our heads.
In the previous 2 blog posts, I lamented my plight of being ousted to the sidelines by my social circles. I was particularly hurt and disappointed by a friend in university because she had a new clique when I was away in Japan and we became tangibly distant.
Just a few years ago, we would have lunch together, take the bus to school together, SMS each other everyday, do school projects and assignments together. Our current relationship is a shadow of its former self.
Assignment submission deadline was looming ahead in less than 2 hours time. I couldn't identify the problems and I lost hope. My friend graciously offered help earlier in the afternoon but he was busy when I needed his advice. The only road left open to me? The friend whom I dearly considered my good buddy in the past.
I was conflicted and struggled within myself for a moment. Would she violently reject my request? Would she mock at me for my inadequacies? I didn't know. I had lost this battle. Giving in to despair, I posted a tweet to 'commemorate' my defeat.
The following sequence of events were beyond my scope of belief. My friend swiftly offered her assistance, sacrificing her time and effort to correct my assignment and even gave explanations to my errors!
Right at that very moment, I realized that she still cares for me although we aren't as close as before anymore. I felt blessed. Yes, God places everyone in my life for a purpose. Whether they are against me or for me, everyone plays a significant role in my journey of life.
Everyone has their own right to live the life they want. I have no business constraining her within the boundaries of our friendship if she feels that there are other friends better than me worth living and caring for.
However, some battles have to be won on my own merits. And this final 1 month before the end of semester will be a test of my endurance, faith and strength.
My friend recommended me this video and it drew my attention because of the funny robotic moves. Before I knew it, I was hooked! Not because it's just another catchy song, but the message behind the MV and the lyrics. It's extremely powerful.
The beginning of the chorus is "Success, depress, ambition. Progress, regress, recognition". With this piece of information, you don't have to know Japanese to absorb the essence of the song. Not gonna post a lengthy explanation, but I'll leave it up to you aspiring philosophers to figure out the mystery!