Time to let go...
Once again, I complicated myself in the affairs of others which I have no business dabbling in. What is wrong with me? I don't know... For my pitiful efforts, I was inflicted with the worst migraine of my entire life, to the extent I lost my appetite due to nausea. Why do I love punishing myself? Do I not have enough problems of my own?
Being away for 5 whole months, I came to the conclusion that no one actually gives a damn about me, except for my mum and my closest friends. Even people whom I called "good friends" disappoint me. All these years of dedication and effort in building these friendships, it means nothing to them at all. As the realization crept into my heart, I finally broke down in tears.
After years of anticipated fear, at long last, I am all alone to fight my own battles. I am weaker than I thought. Given my current state, I am fighting a losing battle. I have no more strength to confront my fears. As a stop-gap measure, I shall emotionally shut out myself, be a reclusive hermit who dedicates his all to his studies, and lead his uneventful life quietly by the sidelines, waiting for an opportunity to leave this nation which has burdened his heart with disappointment and frustration.
Benedict, please f**king abide by your own words. And it shall start from this moment on...