The sting of love...
(Sunday, June 6, 2010/10:17 PM)
I promised not to talk about my girlfriend on my blog, given our circumstances... But I just need something, somewhere to pour my woes onto, and there can be no better place than right here on my own blog...
In a short span of 3 weeks of our relationship, we had 2 major conflicts. And both arose due to lack of proper communication. She's not telling me honestly how and what she feels, and thus I try too hard to communicate with her, and she thinks I'm imposing my will on her.
Never knew that love can be so tough... and painful... :'( I used to be a stoic guy i.e. believing that a real man doesn't shed tears, until I met God and wept in His presence. But crying in agony for a girl... That's something new to me...
We agreed to iron out our differences on Thurs but till then, she wants to keep a distance between us. I've grown too dependent upon her. Meeting her for dates every 2-3 days, keeping my fingers busy messaging her throughout the day. Thus, I reckon it's gonna be excruciating 4 days ahead... =(
I also got myself entangled in my best guy buddy's love matters (not as a third party, but as a busybody mediator, however I believe my interventions have eased misunderstandings between him and the girl and now, they've become a couple too) and incurred his wrath. We've made peace but I know he would never trust me anymore. We used to go to each other's rooms to chat regularly, and there was zilch for this whole week.
Remember I dissed the students who didn't dare venture beyond their country's clique? I bumped into a bunch of Hong Kong friends just now and envy crept into my sullen heart. I realize how pathetically vulnerable I am despite believing that I've become stronger through the trials which I had gone through in 2009.
Singaporean dinner with an elderly Japanese couple who stayed in Singapore for 20+ years
In a short span of 3 weeks of our relationship, we had 2 major conflicts. And both arose due to lack of proper communication. She's not telling me honestly how and what she feels, and thus I try too hard to communicate with her, and she thinks I'm imposing my will on her.
Never knew that love can be so tough... and painful... :'( I used to be a stoic guy i.e. believing that a real man doesn't shed tears, until I met God and wept in His presence. But crying in agony for a girl... That's something new to me...
We agreed to iron out our differences on Thurs but till then, she wants to keep a distance between us. I've grown too dependent upon her. Meeting her for dates every 2-3 days, keeping my fingers busy messaging her throughout the day. Thus, I reckon it's gonna be excruciating 4 days ahead... =(
I also got myself entangled in my best guy buddy's love matters (not as a third party, but as a busybody mediator, however I believe my interventions have eased misunderstandings between him and the girl and now, they've become a couple too) and incurred his wrath. We've made peace but I know he would never trust me anymore. We used to go to each other's rooms to chat regularly, and there was zilch for this whole week.
Remember I dissed the students who didn't dare venture beyond their country's clique? I bumped into a bunch of Hong Kong friends just now and envy crept into my sullen heart. I realize how pathetically vulnerable I am despite believing that I've become stronger through the trials which I had gone through in 2009.
Singaporean dinner with an elderly Japanese couple who stayed in Singapore for 20+ yearsHow would things have turned out if I played safe and invested more time and effort in my Singaporean friends and international students whom I am well-acquainted with? I would be consistently happy, but wouldn't achieve anything which furthers my future in Japan.
It doesn't mean I don't care about them. They're definitely friends whom I would like to stay connected with when I'm back in Singapore. I've been moving into denial of my identity as a Singaporean (I would refer to Singaporeans as "them" sometimes), but these wonderful people reminded me of the redeeming qualities of a Singaporean.
No matter how tough, no matter how painful, I will continue to press on and engage the risk bravely. I can't just stop after doing so much so far... Please keep me in your prayers, guys... :)
It doesn't mean I don't care about them. They're definitely friends whom I would like to stay connected with when I'm back in Singapore. I've been moving into denial of my identity as a Singaporean (I would refer to Singaporeans as "them" sometimes), but these wonderful people reminded me of the redeeming qualities of a Singaporean.
No matter how tough, no matter how painful, I will continue to press on and engage the risk bravely. I can't just stop after doing so much so far... Please keep me in your prayers, guys... :)
posted by MightyFlameboy. shoot me? | 0 shot me.