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Name: Lim Fang Wei Benedict
Alias: MightyFlameboy
D.O.B: 22/10/1986
Likes: Japan, music, fashion, computer games, travelling

KC
Debbie
Janet
Jamie
Valerie
Vanessa
Victor
Elicia
Wendy
Adeline
Jonathan Lexing Tan
StudioForMan
Inchz Couture
Joyce's Fashion Shop

June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010

designer: frozen.d}
resources: x

Yeah! Exams are finally over... My other peers are sooo envious of me cos' most of them end their exams around 1-3 Dec. Heh, after 2+ years of uni life, at long last, I can experience the feeling of enjoying my freedom whilst my peers are still mugging like mad. I was at their end of the deal for the past 2 years. =P

Despite (yet another) hiccup in CG matters, us brothers had a great time fellowshipping at JP! Recommended my personal hairstylist at Storm Monsoon to KC (Check out his new hairstyle soon!), and courtesy of WL's and KC's GV vouchers, we went to watch Ninja Assassin. Thanks WL, we owe you one. =) Catch up after your exams, yeah? =D


Wooo... It's uber gory... Limbs and bodies flying everywhere... The 1st action sequence abruptly introduced us to a half-decapitated head and my LJS' grilled fish dinner almost came out of my mouth. Eughhh... Gross... (>.<)

My new mantra in life for the past year has been "change is the only constant in life" and yesterday, I did something new once more. I went out with my Japanese sensei and classmates for the first time, and even sang Japanese KTV! Finally, I had a chance to flaunt what I've been practising at home HAHA!

Singing in Japanese is so challenging... It's not just about vocal capabilities anymore... My sensei was laughing at one of my classmates who always have a perpetual problem reading Japanese words, as he was murmuring and stuttering his way through the songs LOL! (^-^)

Church service was great today! Pastor preached about dreams and spurred us to keep fighting for our destiny. When it came to the faith offering, I was hesitant to put in a sacrificial amount but in the end, I yielded myself to God's will. I'm glad I did that cos' God began to work in my life ALMOST IMMEDIATELY!

I wrote "my dream is to work in Japan for a renowned digital gaming company, as well as commit myself to the unchurched Japanese and render my humble assistance in any budding ministry". As I was watching the movie, a SMS came from the CHC Japanese coordinator and she specially requested for my help to play host to a visiting Japanese Christian this upcoming week. Wow, God really moves! =D

It seems far-fetched... Getting a spiritual Japanese wife, migrating to Japan, working in a renowned company relevant for my skills, and playing an active role in their small (but strong) ministry. Haha, I've been boasting about my dreams to my friends alot and I'm so afraid if it doesn't come to pass. But that's where my faith in God comes in. I'm gonna just keep believing. =)

Now, if only I get replies for my internship applications... I intend to use these 4 months to build up my resume in preparation for my post-graduation job-seeking efforts. Wage issues are of no concern to me since I'm financially secured (tho' I bled $2k+ for my new laptop =.=). Please let me know if you guys have any lobangs! (^-^)

Alright, time to head to bed! The upcoming week will be pretty exciting!

(It seems like my blog traffic is diminishing after all the tensions lately, but heck, I'll just update my blog cos' I'll never know when another great dude like Jonathan Tan comes along by chance =P)

Despite exams drawing near, I've been distracted checking out the best laptop bargains around, and SERIOUSLY 'disturbed' (lol) when my uni friend brought his spanking new L4D2 to school which tempted me sooo much...

Somehow, I managed to survive the madness of camping in school for 26 hours straight... And it's not just the usual project meeting in comfortable study areas with air-con. I had to bear with the scorching sun when I shot the outdoor scenes for my filming assignment. I'm red like a lobster and the sunburn patches sting like crazy. ARGHHH!!! (>.<)

I've become a little complacent recently cos' I thought I had the luxury of time to spare since I only have 2 exams coming up. Then, I realized... there's only 4 solid days for studying left, and I'm lagging so badly in my revision. Gosh, I've to start up my engine in full force again!

Recently, I had some time to destress a little, and out of boredom, I went to TS, scouting for a nice Japanese drama series for entertainment during study breaks. I had the choice of a typical corny romance or the wacky detective theme (which I absolutely love, if I don't wish to exercise my brain too much :P), but in the end, I chose...

Entitled "LIFE", it's a 2007 high school drama. Nope, it's not the usual high school drama which gives you a 'feel-good' feeling which makes you reminisce the adolescent naive childhood days, but it delves into the dark side of human relationships, as young as high-schoolers.

Taboo topics are the main focus here, especially bullying. It's not just any childish name-calling, but it is SERIOUS bullying (more than often not, it involves violence and psychological manipulation). The drama makes you think about life deeper in detail as it deals with issues such as jealousy, peer pressure, conformity etc.

However, beyond all these, the drama speaks of true friendship, standing up for your beliefs (despite getting shunned by people around you), emerging stronger from adversity. It's depressing to sit through the first few episodes cos' the drama depicts suicide, rape, bullying. But thankfully, the message picks up after Episode 4, where the protagonist makes a firm decision to resist as she forges genuine friendships with new comrades.

2009 has been a year of trials and tribulations for me. The outcomes may not have been desirable, but I pray at the end of it all, I can proudly say I've come out wiser and stronger than before. There's no room for regrets. Not cos' I'm full of ego to say that I've done right, but just for the simple reason that we, as humans especially Christians, have to be forward-looking. 2010 is a year which will propel me into my destiny and I'm not gonna let anyone or anything hinder my progress.

It's amazing how a simple J-dorama can speak into my heart, huh? If anybody wishes to borrow it, I'll be willing. =)

I'm gonna be so broke soon cos' I have a BURNING DESIRE to buy a new laptop and mobile phone. =S

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is crazy about the Mcdonald's & Monopoly gimmick going on now. Just a few days ago, my friends and I went to Mcdonald's when midnight was closing in, and it was still friggin' crowded. It's amazing how easily Singaporeans are suckered into trends, but well at least, it breaks the monotony of the Singaporean life. We have a brand new topic to talk about, albeit a superficial one. "I JUST GOT MARINA BAY. YOU GOT SENTOSA COVE!?"

'Instant' wins aren't exactly free stuff if you consider how overpriced fastfood is. Now that they're offering 'free' stuff, it shows how confident they are in their product. No matter what, we'll always be at the losing end. Do you find yourself eating Mcdonald's more regularly recently? To gamble for a chance to get that coveted Sentosa Cove? That's precisely what they are luring you to do.

Mehhh... The prizes are indeed enticing... But as an informed student who is learning about media effects on society, I have to resist it... A vacation to Hawaii would turn my upcoming holidays around from degrading into pure boredom...

Back to my personal life, this past week has been a mentally strenuous time of confrontation and I have to take a hiatus for 2 weeks to take my mind off such matters to fully concentrate on my upcoming exams. If I play my cards right, this semester might just be a breakthrough in my university tenure thus far. I can't afford to be distracted at this crucial point of time...

My efforts aren't appreciated and I'm feeling so lousy now. In retrospect, it makes me question myself if I did the right thing, or at least, approached the problem at the right angle. Then again, God reminded me that I shouldn't be a man-pleaser but a God-pleaser. Whatever God prompts me to do, I'll do it. Despite knowing that I'll draw flak from people around me, even close friends. I'm glad KC seized the opportunity to pursue his education once more. At least that's one sign of the fruits of my labour...

All the best to my fellow comrades in university for the upcoming final exams! =)

Ack too much conflict for these past few days, I'm getting worn out by all the tension... LOL! But I'm glad I can step aside for now cos' Kenneth and Janet are finally gonna thrash things out tomorrow. So, I shall leave it to them to settle their personal conflict. Hopefully, the outcome would be desirable... =) And yes, Debbie, you're my best gal-pal thus far, of cos' I can talk to you on a more intimate level as well. Sorry for not including you! =P

I've spent so much time and effort worrying about my friends, and I'm afraid I'll have to be selfish till the end of Nov as I rush through my final assignments and revision for my exams. But I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm not as angsty as I was last semester. Internal disputes within project groups where the members are some of my closer friends in NUS + Piling assignment deadlines = one angsty, emo Benedict. =P

A huge burden has been lifted off my chest today cos' I completed my presentation (together with the report, the project is a hefty 50% of the module). I tried to be adventurous and improvise outside of my script and I HAD A FREAKIN' MENTAL BLOCK! =S I was stumped for 5-7 secs as I glanced sheepishly at my lecturer as he gave me a little nod of encouragement.

I seriously have no clue why my mind isn't as nimble as before. My intelligence is still intact cos' I can churn out elaborate essays, but I just can't think on the spot for nuts! Together with my worsening problem of poor enunciation of my spoken words, I'm fearing that the migraine which has been plaguing me for over 2 years is something much more. Perhaps I'm just scaring myself... Perhaps it's a spiritual warfare I have to go through to emerge stronger...

But I guess it's no point worrying about things which I have no control over. No matter what, I'll move on my life's journey bravely with the grace of God. And thank God that I just received an email from my computing tutor who rectified a bug in my program and half of the burden I have for my final computing assignment which is due this Sunday is gone. =)

Ohhh... And I just checked my gradebook for my last assignment... I've gotten an A- for my previous assignment! =D We had to create a 3D world and I was feeling superbly inferior cos' I was using predefined shapes in the software database, whereas the crazy foreigners are giving 3D games (think in terms of at least Counter-Strike quality graphics) a run for their money. I'm sooo fortunate to have a great lecturer and tutors who consider effort as a grading criteria as well. =D

If God is for me, who can be against me!? I shall hold on to this promise and dash towards the finishing line... on 23rd Nov. It's coming... (^-^)

Sigh... It has come to my attention that my comments on my blog and emails don't sit well with a few people. At least I've learnt something new - I can't expect people to heed my advice if my relationship with them aren't close enough. Possibly the only person who is open for me to speak into his life is KC, my newfound brudder on FB who is my best friend of 15 years and running. I shall work on building these relationships better before speaking into these people's lives once more...

I've been accused of being cowardly, but aren't the true cowards the ones who know the presence of a problem and choose to casually ignore it, in order to maintain status quo? True, it seems that I'm having an easy time talking jack on my blog. And I choose not to mention names cos' as I've said, my relationships with other people aren't as strong as with KC, but it's not that I'm cowardly and try to beat around the bush.

If anybody is willing to listen to my counsel, do let me know and I promise you I won't hold back. I had received an angry email just a few weeks ago regarding my comments and the person questioned my intentions. But if such people think through carefully, why would I be so boliao to attract unnecessary flak, when I could have been just another typical nice Christian who stays low-profile and live life peacefully? Am I really so kaypoh, or am I itching to get into some trouble for nothing?

I made it clear from the start when I first made this blog. I'm not gonna be just another feel-good blog, typing about "my sumptuous McGriddles breakfast I have with my girlfriend" and other superficial stuff about myself. My life is pretty boring, so how do I wish to compare with other more 'interesting' blogs? Just a small dose of cleavage from a bimbotic busty model earns a thousand times more hits than my blog.

But of cos' that's not the point of me typing on this blog. Since I have a regular readership among some of my friends, why not I post something that might help them along in life? But of cos' I won't be targeting anyone in particular but also broaden my stance so that random people who stumble upon my blog can benefit can well. That's how I got to know Jonathan Lexington Tan who appreciated my thought life. So, I hope from now on, no one takes what I say personally.

The sin of omission is far more serious than the sin of commission. At least sins of commission are tangible problems we know we can work on. What's so dangerous about sin of omission is that you might not even perceive it as a problem! But when it gets out of hand, it might be irreparable. Pastor Kong frequently preached "When you meet God in Heaven, He's not gonna ask you how many millions you made, what a good family man you are. He's gonna question you "why did you not reach out to that friend?", "why did you not prevent that conflict?"."

Similarly to what Zoe has preached in CGM before, are we gonna build our relationships on superficial fun and laughter, or even the obligatory consolation when our friends need emotional support? No, at the expense of straining friendships, I'm gonna keep doing what I think is right. As I stay accountable to God, I pray He would protect these friendships.

But if I have sleepless nights cos' I'm burdened with your problems, trying my best to speak into your life through my blog and emails, you should be glad instead cos' this is a privilege which I give exclusively to friends who matter to me. I can't even be bothered with hi-bye acquaintances or superficial friends. They can wallow in self-pity for all I care. =P

On a positive note, I thank God for strengthening my relationships in the CG further. Previously, Elicia and I had a 'non-existent' friendship (a term which Valerie used for our prior friendship lol =P) but after fellowship through this week's CG and service, I feel there's a greater tangiblity to our friendship. =) Adeline too... Kinda lost 'connection' with her since late '07 but recently, we can resume chatting comfortably again. And for a previously shy guy who felt awkward around females, I met Vannessa, Wendy and Pei En for dinner before CGM. Haha, it was great fellowshipping with you girls! =D

Yet another long and boring post... And I hope no one takes offence in whatever I said in this post too... I don't like to impose my views on other people. If you feel something after reading this post, that means my message ministers to you but I reiterate that I'm not targeting specific individuals. It's entirely up to you to think through what I've said or treat it as trash. I just hope to help people who are open to different perspectives. =)