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Name: Lim Fang Wei Benedict
Alias: MightyFlameboy
D.O.B: 22/10/1986
Likes: Japan, music, fashion, computer games, travelling

KC
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Jamie
Valerie
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I'm so sorry, my brothers and sisters of E441, for not going to prayer meeting today. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I couldn't even muster an ounce of strength when my lesson was finally finished at 8 PM. I'm really getting old... I used to be able to get through 12 torturous hours of school daily during P5 & 6 (KC, the good ol' days LOL!)...

I shall do a quick update of the happenings over the 2nd half of my recess week, before heading off to lalaland...

These 2 weeks has been pretty amazing~ I did so many things for the first time in my life, and I'm feeling great for taking the first step of faith! =) As you guys know from my last post, I went out one-to-one with a female, my new Japanese-loving friend, Jasmine, to my first-ever visit to the Japanese school festival. And next up for today...

I finally joined my first JSS event after being a member for more than 2 years! I'm the infamous 'phantom' member of the club. A few of the JSS acquaintances which I made today were taken aback when I told them my nickname on the forums *lol*. "Starstruck"? =P

I was unusually enthusiastic this time round, cos' the visiting Japanese students were from Kyushu University, which I'll be going next semester! =) I figured it was a good opportunity to establish a network of friends in Fukuoka, so I wouldn't feel so lost when I'm actually there.

I was a little disappointed initially cos' there weren't especially cute girls *lol* but cos' of that, I could concentrate on making meaningful conversation with the guys. Surprisingly, I could actually speak Japanese good enough to sustain a decent conversation without frequent awkward pauses. I wasn't feeling confident but I thank God for blessing me with courage. =D

Reflecting on today's event, I feel that my world perspective has broadened significantly. Interacting with people from different cultures makes me realize how narrow-minded I am. It's about giving more than taking, on both sides. We have our cultural differences, but we lay them aside for the sake of a greater purpose.

Seriously, I would strongly encourage you guys to grab hold of any opportunity pertaining to such events. If we stay in our own comfortable cliques, we can never expand our influence in life. We talk about being history-makers and world-shakers in church, but after weekend service, we slip back into our own comfortable lives. It's ironic, really. =S

If I can afford the time, I'm definitely going for more of these events, now that I've become a much more confident person. Slowly but surely, I'm breaking away from the typical, mundane Singaporean lifestyle to prepare myself for my dream future in Japan. =)

I've never met a girl one-to-one before. I've not dared to participate in any Japanese events. Thus, on Sunday, it was kinda like a breakthrough of sorts cos' I did both! I thank God for giving me courage lol. =)

For 2 years, I've heard of the school festival at the Waseda Shibuya Senior High School along West Coast road, but always couldn't seem to go because of reluctance or schoolwork. I'm glad this time round, it fell right smack at the start of my 1 week break, and I got acquainted to Jasmine who's similarly crazy about Japanese culture as I am. (^_^)

Lol, I'm supposed to meet my new acquaintance from CHC at 10 AM to go down together to the Japanese school festival, but she woke up late, so I have to laze around for abit first. =S

I cried bucket loads in service yesterday. Has been a long while since I shed tears in the presence of the Lord. Indeed, I'm feeling frustrated and helpless at times, being seemingly 'unfairly' treated, whilst the world is enjoying their lives.

Despite my ailments disrupting my focus, I studied way harder than my peers, and yet during my exams, the lecturer had to use their own terminology and I couldn't comprehend (because I studied the friggin' TEXTBOOK) and did that question wrongly. Even a weaker peer in maths commented that was a giveaway question, and I couldn't help but zone out after that. Why, God, why!?

Which is why I feel convicted by Pastor Kong's message, speaking about trials having a purpose, and believing in God to show us the bigger picture in due season. I want to trust God that my illnesses are for a purpose. Likewise for my studies. I had surrendered my burdens up to him as my tears flowed down my cheeks, so now it's up to Him to lead me. =)

Man... I felt like uber crap today... Have you ever had days when you woke up to a splitting headache, reluctant to get out of bed, and had completely no interest to talk to anyone but preferred to keep to yourself? Well, multiply that by 365 and that is basically what I've been feeling for the past 1 year. But recently, it has gotten worse that I may not seem myself at times. Here's an apology to anyone who has been affected by my predicament... 


Even though I was feeling so light-headed that I couldn't exactly concentrate during CGM earlier, Zoe spoke a message which seriously impacted my heart cos' it speaks directly to my situation. Can I rejoice in my situation? Am I relying on friends around me to offer words of consolation? But that doesn't help my situation. Am I seeking God sufficiently everyday, entrusting to Him my burdens? No, I've gotta admit I've not been faithful in doing that. I pray that this will be my turning point as I'll make effort to change my spiritual lifestyle. 


Still, I have to be thankful for the little things in life which God has blessed me with. For some reason, I managed to complete my computer graphics assignment earlier than my peers this time round. Just 2 weeks ago, I was the one struggling to complete it before the deadline. Now, I'm in the position to offer them advice. By the grace of God, I managed to cope with the hectic workload which I'm burdened with. In another 1 week's time, I'll be having my recess week and I hope that it'll be a good time of rest for my weary body...


Well, I'm hoping the upcoming events will take my mind off my circumstances. Kristal's birthday party tomorrow. DT performance gig at a Blood Donation Drive. Should be going to the school festival of the Japanese school at West Coast with a new CHC acquaintance. Following which would be Michelle's birthday party. Takes the monotony off my life for just awhile. After which, I'll be going at full speed for 1 1/2 months weeks to make this semester an academic success (hopefully).


My next post should be a happy one, updating pictures which would be taken at Kristal's birthday party. Bear with me for just abit longer. =) 

I'm sooo tired... Remember that I mentioned that I finally finished my assignment last Saturday in my last post? Well, I didn't have too much time to celebrate. A new wave of assignments beckons. (=.=) Here's a breakdown of my weekly workload.


1) 4-8 hours of programming for my computer graphics assignment (since I'm new to OpenGL & C, usually it would hit 8 hours, rather than just a bare minimum of 4 hours)


2) I'm taking another computing module entitled Digital Media Production, where we become directors and producers, learning how to make good films. I spend 4-6 hours weekly for project meetings, write the reports and do the actual filming. If video editing is necessary, add in another 2 hours. 


3) 2-3 hours of doing statistics tutorial (and I must do it, cos' participation counts to my grade grrr) 


4) 2 hours spent on 2 weekly readings from NM3224 Culture Industries


5) 1-2 hours spent to prepare NM3224 tutorial (this is worse... 20% participation grade =.=) 

6) 2-4 hours reading up and drafting my NM3224 individual essay
 

7) 2 hours to read through 3-4 chapters of a library book and take down notes, which is the basis of a book review assignment in NM4218 Knowledge Management 

8) 2 hours for NM4218 group project 


Bear in mind that these are all raw hours. I don't claim to study 10 hours, and watch a few TV shows in between, or take a long elaborate dinner break. 


Taking the maximum, it's about 29 hours per week. In comparison to the CHC standard for JC students which is 15 hours, it's almost twice as much if I intend to work extra harder. And also, this is just the bare minimum to get through my assignments. I've not even accounted for self-revision time! =S


So, why am I wasting time typing this post? I don't know. I just had a massive headache yesterday cos' I was too ambitious and wanted to rush through a few assignments, so I had better relax for awhile today before heading to school.


Even spending 2-3 hours preparing my sermon yesterday disrupted my study schedule so much, that I was doing tutorials way past 12 midnight. Wow, must I really be a hermit this semester? I'm so ill-prepared for the preaching later... I pray that God will make things right as I dedicate my time to Him.

Alright, cya guys for yet another exciting episode of CGM! =)