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Name: Lim Fang Wei Benedict
Alias: MightyFlameboy
D.O.B: 22/10/1986
Likes: Japan, music, fashion, computer games, travelling

KC
Debbie
Janet
Jamie
Valerie
Vanessa
Victor
Elicia
Wendy
Adeline
Jonathan Lexing Tan
StudioForMan
Inchz Couture
Joyce's Fashion Shop

June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010

designer: frozen.d}
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It's only Week 3 of school and I'm already feeling so worn out... I had to cope with a steep learning curve, being forced to convert my Java programming knowledge to C (usually, people would go through C++ first cos' it's much more similar to Java), with OpenGL (a graphics programming language) tacked on it to add on to my woes. And let's not forget the onslaught of the 20+ pages New Media readings which I have to faithfully read through each and every week to prepare myself adequately for tutorials. =S

My migraines seem to be getting worse, and my entire body feels so tense, despite all efforts to relax. Sometimes, I feel that life is so unfair. I've been eating nothing but yongtaufoo, sliced fish bee hoon and other healthy stuff day after day. Sleeping punctually at 12-1 AM, with at least 7-8 hours of sleep daily. Others are indulging in sinful food pleasures without thinking twice, and staying up till 4 AM staring at the computer screen. And yet, I'm the one stricken with these ailments and not them. Not that I wanna curse anyone but it's just very disheartening for me. =(

And so, with these burdens weighing heavily on me, I reluctantly agreed KC bro to meet him up earlier to practise our song item. We did not have a proper practice and I actually had school till 6 on Friday, meaning I couldn't even meet him earlier. But I didn't want to disappoint him so I went for an earlier tutorial, and freed up time nearing CGM timing to come up with something with him.

Woots, Adobe Premiere is fun! =) I just spent the day doing up my first assignment, which is to make a short 60s introduction video of myself. I reckon it's a useful casual skill to have when we have to do up videos for CG or zone events. I'll show you my guys my handy work if there's a chance. (^_^)

On the other hand, OpenGL & C programming language are killing me badly. Why the heck did the SoC profs force us to learn Java as our foundation programming skill, when graphics are largely coded in C/C++?! Grrr... The learning curve is seriously too steep... =( I have to hand up my assignment by Sunday in the midst of a heavy school week and preparations for Friday's performance. God bless me. =S

Talking about Friday's performance, after yesterday's service ended, KC bro and I rushed to City Hall to meet Matthew, our new beatboxing friend. Our agenda was to have him collaborate with me for a short song segment to augment my 60s video production. It went great! =) And while we were chilling, we had some time to decide the songs for Friday's performance, and practised a little. I hope he'll get integrated into the church soon. =D

I'm just wondering... in the quest to stay uniquely me, I may have become more difficult to get along with. A common flaw which I've noticed in most of my 'non-conformist' friends is that they subsconsciously impose their ideas on the people around them.

I'm trying my best not to be like that since we're living in a free world after all. Everyone has their own rights to pursue their own paths. But I just can't help but feel frustrated and awkward when someone does something which is in direct conflict of my philosophy.

Nowadays, I make it a point to make my every action count for something towards building my personality and character. I don't want to do something cookie-cutter, and put myself up for comparison with the vast hordes of people who are doing the same thing.

2 years back, Annabelle violently rejected my bid to perform 'When You Say Nothing At All' by Ronan Keating for Emerge Talentime. "You sound too much like Ronan Keating! I want to hear your true voice. I won't let you sing that song". At that point in time, I was wondering "what's the big deal?". But now, I finally understand what she was driving at.

Personality. Character. 2 important traits which are far more important than looks or charisma. These traits have the lasting power and effect on the people around us. Remember the point I made about typical Singaporeans? Do I go with the trends and pick up new hobbies? Or do I focus on the one talent which God has put in me, which is singing?

It's easy to get caught up in the ebb of tide which flows fickledly in the Singaporean youth culture. We, as Christians however, have to be sure of who we are in God, and not try to be someone else! Do I learn hip-hop dancing to go with the trend or to please a few friends around me? Absolutely not! I'll have a basic head knowledge of their hobbies to sustain conversations, but I definitely will not deviate from my one true talent. If they can't accept that, they're not my true friends at all!

I'll be sure to bump heads with more people along the way with my unique approach to life itself. I'm praying God will give me the wisdom to handle such situations in a rational manner. Heh, so much for my philosophical rants. Time to rest up early for another long day of programming graphics, and reading NM articles which span at least 20 pages each. (=.=)

What an eventful night of wedding celebrations! I'm glad that my brother finally found his lifelong partner in life, and their journey has just begun yesterday. =) I used to resent his presence alot but it does feel a tad bit weird without him bossing me around, playing loud music which disrupts my studying. 

We were an awkward sibling duo cos' of our huge age gap of 6 years, but nevertheless, we're related by blood and that'll never change. I sincerely wish my brother, Melvin, and my sister-in-law, Priscilla, a blissful marriage for eternity, and that God will always remain the centre of their covenant in marriage. 


I had a good fellowship with my church friends at the wedding too, especially an occasion where Bro Darren, Sofyan, Francis and I engaged in conversation. I never thought that I could carry a conversation well with the leaders in church (except Francis of cos' =P) cos' I'd be sooo stressed! But it went well and I'm thankful! =)


We were discussing about Japanese culture, why Sofyan and I are so into the Japanese language, commenting on the local cosplay scene, making jokes about the SG wannabes who unwittingly make a fool out of themselves as cosplayers. When Bro Darren asked me why I like Japan so much, and I replied that I want a Japanese wife, he was taken aback for a moment, and I quickly affirmed that I like the culture foremost above all else. Whew, close shave haha! =P 


He also updated us on the humanitarian work around Asia and a probable mission trip to Indonesia this December. He encouraged me to go, and now there's no escape *lol*! No la, I'll do my best to align my vision with his, so that I would be enthusiastic about it when the time comes.


I'll update the blog with some photos from the wedding once it's uploaded. (^_^)

And some of the photos from the SOT graduation this past Saturday to spice up my blog a little...

Whew... I'm sooo exhausted... Playing host to your guests is a really tough job. I was taking care of my grandfather who was handicapped, cleaning up the mess that my baby cousins made, and fellowshipping with my church friends almost simultaneously. (=.=)

And now, it's all over... PHEW! I can rest up for a good 3 hours before heading down to Fullerton for the wedding dinner. =)

I was having a casual chat with Brother Qizhi and Justin, and they asked me when will my wedding day come. Oh gosh, I think I've reached that certain age of maturity that people would start asking me about these sort of questions. =S

They were poking fun at me, asking what type of girl I like. I think Brother Qizhi said "somebody wild", and Brother Justin chipped in "S&M whip kinda", and they both ended off in unison with the sound of a whiplash *WHIP*! Oh my, super funny la... (=.=)

The conversation toned down a little, and they commented how most of the girls in my cell group are already attached. Valerie... Jamie... Janet... Wait... Janet!? So, I corrected them, saying that Janet is single, and Brother Justin immediately responded by saying "but she's not the type for you la". Yeah, for once, I agree LOL! =D

Oh gosh... So stressed... A 22 year old guy who has not even been on a date before... But I'm really hoping to stand by my conviction that my first girlfriend will be my last, cos' she'll be my wife. I can't let this impending stress dampen my standards. =P

2009 has been sadly a year of breakups, and that's why I'm approaching this topic very VERY cautiously.

Alrighty, I'll catch some eyeshut for a little moment. Update you guys again on the happenings during the wedding dinner later! =)

Wooo, had a great time in church! Not particularly about the service itself since it was SOT graduation and Pastor Kong didn't share a deep word with us, but cos' I made 2 sociable and amiable new friends who are musically inclined.

Seeing how passionate they are about their musical talents, it also stirred the dormant singing talent in me. Let's hope they'll get integrated into E441 and we'll get something going with our combined talents! =)

My day was almost ruined by one conspicuous member from our CG. With us, he's totally nonchalant and acts like a lethargic zombie. With his own friends, he brightens up and act as if he's some kinda social maestro.

The worse thing is that he's inviting them just for the sake of it. I don't sense any spiritual genuity from him, much less spiritual discernment over his friends' lives. He's totally bochup, doesn't inform his spiritual leader that his friends are coming, expects us to book seats for them when they're late.

No, that's not the worst thing. The WORST thing is that the friends are also bochup. They stroll in ONE AND A HALF HOURS late, drop their lazy bums on the chairs, and one of them actually has the cheek to casually sip Coca-Cola from a Mcdonalds' cup. They didn't clap for the SOT graduates, but engaged in their little gossip banter.

AND...! After sitting for less than 30 minutes, they picked up their asses and openly STROLLED out of the service, whilst the ceremony was still ongoing. Utter disrespect for the SOT graduates, for the church, and for God Himself. I was superbly infuriated and had the mind to ask them to GTFO if they aren't serious about church. >:(

And as for that church member I'm talking about? Seriously, I shan't be bothered about him either. As long as he doesn't get on my nerves again, we're fine, and I doubt I can communicate on the same frequency as him. Just don't do something as stupid as that again, or I can't control the expletives anymore.

Okay... I'm done with my rants! I'd need to sleep RIGHT NOW cos' I'll be waking up early tomorrow to prepare for my brother's wedding. Oh gosh, it's gonna be a long day. (=.=) Some random Youtube videos to end my post. (^_^)

Eventful in a good way! After being a social hermit for a good period of 3 months, only meeting my CG weekly and occasionally, my Singtel and laojiao cliques, I got to see other familiar faces in NUS and already in the process of making new friends on just the 1st day of school. =)


First up, I went for a New Media lecture with Michelle this morning. For once, I feel glad to be in Singapore cos' there are so many pretty girls in the lecture... Ops =X BUT! The main point was that I caught up with Michelle, my dear Singtel ex-colleague, ongoing NUS friend. And through her, I got acquainted with her other friend. Well, she's not exactly pretty... But definitely a witty and interesting person. =) 


Next up was my 2 hours break. I bumped into Yong, my dear OG mate, who was heading for lecture. Had a short but great catch-up session. Before I left to 'emo' on my own, I caught Victor who was just dismissed from his lecture. Oh man, it was super weird seeing him in school and even discussing academic stuff, but I'm glad he was there to accompany me. =) 


Was supposed to have lunch with him and his OG friend, but I was pleasantly surprised that my JSS-senpai rang me up and took the initiative to meet me up! After 2 years of being a 'phantom member' of the club, I could finally meet him up in person. Funny friendship we have, eh? 2 years as friends solely on MSN, and finally seeing each other's face today. Bumped into many JSS faces along the way too, such as my last semester's project mate whom I consider one of my best 'random' project mates ever lol. =P 

My statistics lecture came next, and I'm pleasantly surprised that Litus is taking the module too. I ranted about him a little from last semester's traumatizing project (if you guys can remember my rants lol), but he's a fine dude to hang out with when he's free from project stress. Kristal is around as usual. =) I'm really glad for her existence in my life, otherwise I know not how to survive in NUS thus far. 



I'm still awaiting the results to my appeal for an NM module. Grrr... >:( I went for class alone anyways and the first face who greeted me when I entered the classroom was a friend whom I knew through Emerge Talentime '07. OMG! How coincidental is that? But the amazing thing is that he's also a choir member, so if we decide to go for choir practice after class, I have companionship. At the moment in time, there was a sudden realization that God is looking after me in His own ways, and I've experienced it firsthand this time round. =) 



Regarding E441, I'm glad that besides Victor, I'm getting to know the other 2 'V's, Valerie and Vanessa, better. I'm trying my best to make up for lost time cos' I felt that I had neglected our friendships in the old E348. At least I'm not so dependent on KC for companionship nowadays. Haha! (^_^) 



And... On my 1st day back to school, I bumped into that Japanese-looking girl from Lakeside whom I kinda fancied last semester YET AGAIN! Oh gosh, God is telling me something. Or is it the devil at work, trying to divert my attention away from my studies? Haha... =P

2 days ago, I was pleasantly surprised that one of my good friends offered words of encouragement to me, assuring me that I have what it takes to succeed in life. This was in response to my MSN display message, written in Japanese, meaning "I want to believe in myself".


He said that I was caring, much more gentlemanly than he is. That got me thinking, am I overly caring, perhaps? Somehow, I never cease to get the feeling that good friends around me are taking my friendship for granted, and inevitably fall into depression and frustration when I try investing my effort in someone's life and he/she doesn't reciprocate. 

Whatever it is, I hope that I would set things right this semester before I head off to Japan next year. Past wounds from last semester linger on. The drudgery of university education persists. But I'm gonna harden my resolve this time round. 

First up, I'll forget all the so-called friends who are shallow and flaky. Shit those guys, they're not worth my time. Secondly, while every horny guy in NUS is busy going on their 'hunt' for pretty female freshies, I'll toughen my discipline and study doubly hard, praying that my efforts will pay off in a few more 'A's.  

And it all starts again tomorrow. I'm not gonna ever be emo again. Please pray for me guys. =)

Zzz... I've been busy lately emailing NUS admin regarding module bidding problems, and all they gave were halfhearted replies. I wanted to take this certain module because it seemed interesting, so I wrote an elaborate email giving my reasons and appealed to a professor to consider allowing me to take the module as my major elective. And his reply was...


Prof: The module is not so related to your major. You can take it as an unrestricted elective.


Errr... Yeah thanks, prof... Can't you be a tad bit more helpful and give me simple reasons why, so that I might understand and be appeased? And go out of your way to help out by suggesting alternative modules which is similar? Pfft... (=.=)


Well... That's not the end of the story. Before this, I emailed to the department, seeking their help to aid me in forwarding my appeal request to the relevant authorities. What follows next amazed me.


Admin: Please email the professor at this email .

Uhhh... How hard is it to simply click the mouse a few times to forward the email to him? In the end, I had to copy & paste my message, write an add-on message to the professor telling him that this is a prior email sent to the department.

And I had to wait 3 days for that shitty reply. Singaporeans are amazing, I tell you.

On Wednesday, I was just watching this TV variety show featuring Mark Lee as the host, assessing how gracious our society is compared to other nations. For once, I was rooting for Mark Lee, as he blatantly pointed out how ungracious Singaporeans are.

The program shifted to Taiwan, and it is so obvious and evident that our society pales in comparison to Taiwan's. Every Singaporean interviewee also mentioned that Japan is the nation to look upon regarding manners and culture.

Yeah... Our economy might be a miracle for a small nation such as ours. Changi Airport is the No. 1 airport in the world. But I'd say... Big deal... If we don't advance our society on a whole, all these successes would come crumbling down very soon.

It doesn't help matters that the government is encouraging the influx of foreign workers and talents who are solely concerned about their own well-being and don't bother assimilating well into our society. Who is a Singaporean, really? PRs are getting larger in numbers by the day...

Oh well, I better not rattle on any further. Political issues are touchy and I usually don't bother unless it's really getting on my nerves.

Holidays are drawing to an end. It's back to school for me. Sigh... =(

Back for one day only... As a traditional choir boy performing for the masses... The feeling of nostalgia swept past me as I saw the crowds before my eyes. Despite a nagging migraine episode and terrible insomnia on the prior night, I felt that it was a milestone for me on my life's journey with God. Thanks for the encouraging words, E441 brothers and sisters. No matter how hard it might be, I will continue shining for God through my talents. (^_^)

Janet's new blog post has got me thinking. What do I envision myself doing in the future? Well, it seems that I've mapped out an ideal road for myself. Study hard, get my honours degree, also raising my Japanese proficiency to JLPT1 at the same time. Work in a Japanese-affiliated company, and work diligently in order to get posted to Japan, hopefully for good.

I'm not just dreaming things, but there are realistic options available to me. Koei Singapore (U know? The game company that made Dynasty Warriors) is offering internship opportunities to Japan for a good few years. But I'm not too sure if it is truly God's will. We'll see. =)

In an alternate reality, where we have all the talents in the world, what would we want to be? I feel that people are discounting their true significance in life and settle for a mundane 9-5 job for worldly security. If u had all the abilities in the world and fervently pursue ur dreams, what would it be? For me...

#1: Pop idol/Dancer-singer