Resolutions...
(Saturday, July 11, 2009/1:00 AM)
Life has been pretty empty for me these past 2 months. Sighhh... (=.=) Should have seized the opportunity to do something meaningful. But what's done is done. In the past, whiling away my time playing computer games seemed like the ideal holiday for me (besides travelling overseas of cos' =P). But now, I just feel so empty... I know I'm destined for greater things than just living the mundane life...
I'm still plagued by the demons of illness, having the same doubts about myself. None of the deep problems that exist within me are resolved yet, and it'll probably won't be for a long time. But still, I have to toughen up my resolve and stay strong, in these times when my friends are facing problems, and I must be ready to be their pillar of support.
I'm trying my best to fill in the gaps which they've left behind until the time comes when they feel they're ready to let go of the past and reclaim their positions. I'll be leading praise in CGM for the 2nd time tomorrow, as well as serving in Expo for the 1st time, and offered to avail myself for any tasks regarding tomorrow's evangelistic event. On Zoe's request, I've did up some PPT slides. Hope the event goes well. =)
Somehow, I've lost confidence in my singing capabilities. I'm feeling short-breathed recently (possibly cos' I laze too much at home without exercise =S), so I can't sustain my singing voice consistently. I also feel it hard enunciating words nowadays. Is it cos' of my crooked teeth? Or has it something to do with the neurological complications caused by my migraines? I dunno... I don't even wanna think about it. I'll just live life everyday bravely, knowing that I'm well and alive, and that God loves me.
Besides, performing on stage now has no meaning to me. But if I can take to the stage together with Kelvin & Royston, I feel that I can muster the courage to perform once again, because sharing the stage with my close buddies would be my new motivation. Too bad Roy had another item prepared, and I think Kelvin couldn't find the enthusiasm in the midst of going through the toughest time of his life. Usually he would jump at any opportunity to sing on stage. Haha. =) Oh well, there'll be another time...
I must really push myself from next week onwards! Get my lazy ass off the bed and hit the road to get my fitness back. My face is getting sooo fat that it's making me feel inferior. =S Also my uni modules will be confirmed by Weds, so I must really discipline myself to drag my butt to NUS and purchase the textbooks to do some work. If u're my CHC bro or sis, pls kindly pray for me to have the spirit of discipline! (>.<) Hope everything goes fine tomorrow! Cya guys! =)
posted by MightyFlameboy.
shoot me? | 0 shot me.