Trials and tribulations lead to crossroads
(Wednesday, April 8, 2009/10:14 PM)
Alright, I knowww that I've promised to stop ranting about school problems, but I've not had such a shitty screwed-up feeling for a very long time, and I just need to let it all loose on this blog, so that it won't plague me in my sleep. (-_-")
The all-nighter was much more horrendous than I thought. There was an unwritten code of mutual agreement (or reluctant compliance) that no one was supposed to sleep, even catching a short 30 minutes nap, if another project mate was busy with his work. So, besides surrendering to the ZZZ monster involuntarily occasionally for 5-10 minutes or so, we were awake throughout the night, lasting until noon today. And I had my usual lessons until 5 PM. Madness, really. =.=
And guess what? We were rushing our project on the 11th hour because their ambitious attitudes couldn't accept minor flaws and spent precious time correcting petty design decisions, instead of securing a stable program for presentation tomorrow. Somehow, I could predict that things would screw up when we tried putting together our project, and I was right.
So... Now, we've got an incomplete functional system, and we'll probably get marked down for poor integration. So, that leads me to the question: What purpose did all the late nights and hard effort served? Pffttt...
I really can't stand this awkward atmosphere anymore. What I'm upset with is also their indifference towards me. Especially when I'm treated that way by a supposedly close friend of mine whom I've confided in for the past 2 years.
One of my project mate always emo about her health problems, complaining about the slightest stomachache, mistaking intestinal cramps for food poisoning, and she always receive concern. Heck, I'm the one who's officially diagnosed with IBS and tension headaches, and I silently suffered an extremely bad IBS attack late in the night, whereas everyone else had their fun and laughter, health problems notwithstanding.
Seems like the only times they talked to me the entire night (and morning) were when they demanded work from me. If our friendship was so superficial, I wonder why I stepped into it the first place... I mean, if I felt much more comfortable being around my weird JSS project acquaintance, then something must be really, really wrong.
I guess trials and tribulations lead to crossroads. Coming Year 3, I must make a decision whether to break free from them and find true friendship built on mutual trust and respect, or continue staying in my comfort zone, getting shoved around by them, and act as if nothing happened for the entire semester.
... And I'd probably gonna go with the first ...
posted by MightyFlameboy.
shoot me? | 0 shot me.