Please view my blog in Firefox! IE makes my font unreadable for some reason. If anybody knows of a good skin compatible for both Firefox and IE, please tell me!
Alright, here comes my post on my criteria for my future girlfriend! Everyone's wondering "WHEN ARE YOU FRIGGIN" GONNA GET UR FIRST GF!?", so I'm obliged to educate u guys on that. =P I reckon it's gonna be awkward for me, so please be supportive. IN THE RIGHT WAY! =)
This may sound a lil' rigid and stupid to some people, but I'm gonna put points to each category which I'm gonna assess potential girlfriends by. It's to better illustrate and also, a better indication for me when put in numbers. So here goes nothing...
Total: 100
Looks - 20 points 20 pts - If u look like my idol, Ai Otsuka. =D 15-19 pts - Considered a school belle 10-14 pts - Average girl-next-door with pleasant enough looks 5-9 pts - Lacking in the looks department... 0-4 pts - You look like a gorilla =S Plus pts - This gonna sound shallow but as with every normal male, if u have a devillish body, u'll definitely get plus points. =P
Character - 20 points 20 pts - Mother Theresa pales in comparison with you. *almost impossible lol* 15-19 pts - Good, ideal character with little flaws 10-14 pts - Acceptable character and should be able to live with just comfortably 5-9 pts - Obnoxious and rude ass >:( 0-4 pts - Scum of the earth *rofl* >:) Minus pts - Bad habits such as biting your nails. Gawd, I hate that! I sat beside this babe on the train, and I was rather elated, until I noticed her rough unwomanly fingernails as she munched happily on her nails. Ewww!!!
Religious Faith - 20 points 20 pts - Well-balanced faith, able to stay relevant in the world without sounding preachy or domineering, esp. over her mate, yet providing strong spiritual support to her mate. 15-19 pts - Able to stay happy and engaged in the church with adequate faith to support the relationship in the spiritual aspect. 10-14 pts - A little complacency and reluctance once in awhile, but at the end of the day, remains strong in her faith. 5-9 pts - Wavering in her faith and may get into spiritual conflicts with her mate 0-4 pts - Non-christians, backsliders. Minus pts - Over-enthusiastic Christian who talks about nothing but God, and berates her mate for not keeping up the charade with her. And on the other extreme, cultists? Goth? Satanic? *Shivers* Lol... :D
Acceptance of my character - 20 points 20 pts - Able to accept for who I am. Genuinely cares for me, esp. with my chronic illnesses ongoing, and loves me no matter what happens. 15-19 pts - Still able to accept for who I am, but occassionally becomes burdened having to live with my circumstances, but still loves me at the end of the day. 10-14 pts - Still able to accept for who I am, but occassionally has to attend to her own life's problems, inspite of my circumstances. 5-9 pts - Barely able to accept my character. Superficial relationship without much emotional and spiritual support. 0-4 pts - You musta hate me to the core. And care nuts about my life. =S
Common interests - 20 points 20 pts - We can speak in Japanese together, play computer games together, sing together, go on vacations together without conflicts in interests, and just have a helluva fun together! 15-19 pts - Slight difference in interests but the main focus remains united. For instance, my girlfriend may like big modern Japanese cities, whereas I prefer the quiet Japanese countryside. 10-14 pts - May or may not have the same interests. But even if she doesn't, she'll be tolerant of my interests and support me in them. 5-9 pts - Distaste for my interests and try her every means to convert me to her own interests. 0-4 pts - We're living in totally different worlds... If we can't click... What's the point then!?
I'd probably seriously consider attempt to chase the girl if she hits at least 70 points. As u can see, by not being a Christian, it's almost certain that I'll not consider non-Christians. Unless she's really THAT perfect a person to score almost full marks for the rest of the categories.
Just from the top of my head, most girls I've met thus far in my life, don't even hit 50 points of my criteria. Even my crushes and infatuations over the course of my life, probably hit slightly above 50, maybe slightly over 60. Still not good enough for me to seriously consider taking time and effort to engage in this whole BGR thing.
But even if I do meet a girl who passes my criteria, I'll need to pass 3 stages of my own to be fair to the girl.
1) I can promise to myself and God she'll be the only woman I'll look at for the rest of the life. I've got a rather bad problem of a roving eye, so I gotta work hard on this. =S
2) Get my health back on track cos' I do not want my woman to be the protector in the relationship.
3) Get myself on a good stable spiritual platform to handle BGR relationships in a Godly manner.
So there u have it... I can't believe I typed all that... But oh well... =)
I'm gonna be just a lil' thick-skinned and say that until the last minute before I left for Japanese class on Weds, I was hoping with all my heart that any of my friends would spring a surprise birthday celebration for me. But alas, I came to realize that my church friends had discipleship meeting, and my other closer cliques such as my Singtel gang and JC 'lao jiaos' are probably buried up to their necks with school projects and final revisions.
Nevertheless, it was a nice lil' surprise that my OG decided to hold an impromptu mini birthday celebration for me and Yanfen. My birthday cake was an... APPLE PIE, from the Biz Western food store *lol*! And the 'cake' I got from my CG was a Hershey's Sundae Pie. *Rofl* how unique is that? =)
During the 95 bus ride to Buona Vista MRT, I was surrounded by girls, prompting Kristal to poke fun at me saying that "I had the birthday luck, getting surrounded by pretty girls". But bah gawd, they're FRIGGIN' gossipy and noisy, that I almost got a headache from hearing them talk at the top of their voices. Ladies, here's a handy lesson. Looks ain't just enough. =) Sigh, so much for my birthday luck. Haha... =S
And so, I set off for my usual Japanese class. Slightly disappointed, but ain't too bad! All the friends who really mattered to me, remembered my birthday and gave me their best wishes. Knowing that my birthday was coming to an end, I went home alone on the MRT alone as usual after class.
And while I was stoning in the train as usual, out of the friggin' blue, my random crush in church stepped into the train! As I told Kristal, what are the odds of that happening!? Man, maybe Kristal's right about 'birthday luck' afterall! =D This is my first time seeing her upclose, and I almost froze on the spot *rofl*. She was with a bunch of punkish looking childish boys, whom I had no clue whether they're friends from church or not. Damn, they just spoilt the entire atmosphere for me! =S
Judging from her looks and the peeps she hang out with, she can't be older than 17-18. That's the bad part about growing old. I feel kinda awkward liking younger girls now. I tried 'facebook-stalking' her, so that I had a photo to present to Kristal. And she said my crush looks like an absolute 'gina', loosely translating as young kids, sometimes delinquents. Haha, we're always openly voicing our displeasure with 'ginas' and yet now I'm infatuated with one.
Life's an irony. Oh yeah, Kristal and Ruofang are gonna laugh at this statement yet again. Ruofang makes up part of my life's irony as well. =) And I reckon I'm gonna get hounded by my church friends to divulge her identity pretty soon. Gosh. =S
And as anticipated, I'll follow up with a post on my criteria for a girlfriend! ^^
Haha I'm getting older by a year again. 22 years old on 22 October. =) I hate it how my birthday always fall around the period where school gets really busy with project deadlines and impending exams, so for the past few years since JC, I never really had a good birthday celebration.
But partly also because birthday celebrations are also past my time. Haha, I still can't forget those stupid yet fun kiddo celebrations at Macdonalds where we booked the birthday section and the staff played kiddy games with my friends and me. But now, I'd prefer a nice cosy simple dinner with my family and close friends.
Went to Ajisen for dinner at IMM to celebrate my birthday. My parents decided to make the dinner appointment today cos' I may have programmes with my friends tomorrow. But they haven't confirm anything yet. There's still a high probability that I'll spend my birthday doing my usual routine of rushing to Orchard after uni classes, order a MOS Burger meal and finish it up within 15 mins and rush up to Japanese class. =S
But it's all good. Of cos' I'd be happier if someone organises a birthday outing or celebration for me, but ultimately, I guess it's the thought that counts. Most of my close friends have wished me happy birthday. Waiting for the rest tomorrow. =)
As for my birthday wishes and resolutions for the year ahead...
1) As usual for the past 2 years, I'm praying to God that my health will recover, so that I can run and exercise normally like most people do.
2) Gotta get my CAP up so that I can apply for SEP to Japan for Year 3. I need to escape from all these stress in Singapore, even if it's just for awhile! Getting to see throngs of kawaii Japanese girls everyday helps me in this aspect of destressing *lol*. Okay okay, I'm still aware that SEP is for me to study. =)
3) Probably hoping to start my first network of Japanese penpals and like-minded peeps in SG who likes Japan (but not those obsessive anime otaku or crazed JRock enthusiasts *rofl*).
Janet poked fun of me when our CG helped me celebrate my birthday la. Say that I want a girlfriend as my birthday wish. I'm not denying that I will grab the opportunity if the right girl comes along, but I'll just let God guide my way, instead of bothering about this issue day and night.
As a Christian, I can't be carnal minded like some of the guys in school, who look at every girl and assess her potential to be their girlfriend. Lol.=P Studies first for now. U dun believe me? C'mon la, I'm serious. XD
Everyone's been curious about my criteria for my choosing of a girlfriend. Many said that my standard is too high. Yeah, I guess it is. It must be. Cos' I'm intending for my first girlfriend to be my last. She must absolutely be the best and right person for me. =D Some of my friends and acquaintances claim that they date girls just for the 'experience' so that they will know what to do when they chase future girlfriends. That's like so ... OMG (o.O) la... Haha... =)
But it's a rather interesting topic. Maybe I'll satisfy all u guys' curiosity soon enough. Heh. =]
Thanks for all the birthday wishes once again! ^_^
As u guys know, for the past week, I had an intense struggle with the devil. Circumstances and tribulations came abruptly in my path like never before. A few days ago, for no apparent reason, my laptop rolled back to *gasp* factory settings. My 2 years of university work is all friggin' in it and I did not even back the data up! But luckily, system restore recovered my data. I've backed up my data already. My health's getting back on track (at least for now). I'm still fumbling in my studies but I believe God ultimately has a way out for me. Get back to where u belong, goddarn devil! >:)
Everyone in my CG is in an emo mood this week. All our prayer requests have to do with something negative happening in our lives, except maybe Liu Jing and Wen Long *lol*. I guess I'm not just the only one facing problems, though coupled with my health problems which are invariably linked with my stressful situations, I feel as if I'm in a deeper ditch than they are.
As the new week progresses, I decided that I can't stay unhappy forever. God wouldn't like it this way. So, on Thurs, I lifted my spirits up and accompanied Kelvin and Debbie to visit Alvin, Kelvin's bro who just had a heart surgery, in NUH. Looking at how frail he is but yet having the bravery to go through all that he has went through, it enlightened me to look at life in different perspectives.
At least I leading life normally on the surface. At least I'm healthy enough to go about my daily activities. Just for that fact alone, I should thank God for His grace. As Jay Chou's new song, Dao Xiang, implies, there's many others in the world who are suffering worse fates than us. So, we should be grateful in the little intricate blessings of life. The very notion of just being able to wake up each and every day, knowing you're alive and well.
Pastor Kong reiterated the power of visualization and of the spoken word. What you believe and speak of, it will come to pass by God's grace. I understood this sometime back, and I kept proclaiming "By Your stripes, I'm healed" for days, but soon fell under the devil's influence to distrust God that He can't reverse my situation. The word from Pastor Kong really spoke deep into my heart, and I must continue proclaiming my faith consistently.
Another lesson I learnt from this is also to trust the close friends which I have already allowed access into my life. I thought nobody cared, but some of my friends actually do. And I'm ashamed that I'm not practising what I preach by offering them support when they're down. I was just too caught up with my own problems. No man's an island. So let's start trusting and believing in the ones we hold close to our hearts. =)
*WARNING: Major vulgarities alert!* When I was down and out, this video really cracked me up and made me forget my problems. Loads of f-word thrown around. Someone counted 160+ times that the dude in the video shouted "F&*@". LOL!
And of cos', Jay Chou being a born-again Christian, his songs bear greater significance and purpose to me now. 'Dao Xiang' is a song that really relates to my situation and I can totally identify with it. I'm gonna learn the song real soon. =D
And YAY! My birthday is coming up soon. =) 22 October. Haha, what a cheap way to garner attention. =P
Alright, I'll get back on track and serve up my next Japanese lesson on this blog soon! =D
What a week this was... Probably a solid candidate for 'worst week of 2008'... My head felt as if it was gonna explode towards the end of the week... My chronic stomach ailment emerged from dormancy and started to hurt like friggin' HELL again... My schedule on Saturday was changed at least 4-5 times, due to unforeseen circumstances. I don't even know where to start...
Unforeseen circumstances? "Wow, sounds interesting!" Yeah, damn right u are. After shuttling to and fro 2 specialists on the same day for medical consultation, I went back home, rested awhile in preparation to go for church service later on, and at 1.40 PM, goddamn army called me and said that I had been friggin' activated for MOBILIZATION at some shitty ulu camp which I have not heard of.
Wait... That's not the best part. Usually, mobilizations are informed way in advance to help us get mentally prepared as the dates draw nearer. I've not received a SINGLE email, letter or SMS notifying me of this latest mob exercise. Woohoo, talk about pleasant surprises, eh? And the hotline service sucks to the core. Apparently, in the entire army, the "shit rolls down" mentality works universally. It was only the 5th number which I called, when the operator actually is well-informed about the mob exercise. The 4 operators before him were merely pushing the task to one another. How can we claim to be 3G when they fail terribly at a simple matter like this!?
That's not even the best part. The best part is... The 1st guy who called me, notified me of the activation at 1.40 PM. And activation time? ONE friggin' o'clock. And I have to report N+3, meaning 4 PM. So apparently, the army thinks that I'm from the SWAT team. I had about 2 hours to overcome this mental shock, dig up my army stuff from the cupboard, and go to this ulu camp, and while all these are happening, I don't think I have an inkling of what's was going on.
I didn't bother to go to this dumb mob exercise. I wasn't feeling well and I'm covered by my specialist and GP anyway. But I gotta go out of the way and return to my specialist's clinic to get my endorsement letter on Monday. Which means I have to skip one lecture in the morning. Great... Just great... Army f***s u up just great.
That really made me day. It really has. What made me even more depressed is that I came down with a bad diarrhoea and my mum advised me to stay at home. They're going to Japan a week for holidays, and I felt that I should do the least I could as a son and have a nice dinner with them and send them off at the airport. Instead, I sat alone at home, lonely, frustrated at the turn of events.
Luckily, I had Kristal to confide in, otherwise I'll probably break down on Saturday. My spirit was so heavy, that I decided not to go to church, since I couldn't concentrate anyway. Nevertheless, none of my church mates found it weird that I wasn't around. I've not received a single SMS from anyone. I voiced my frustrations through my MSN display message, and besides Kristal, only Ivan and Yong Loong could sense my troubles. Thank God for placing these friends in my life.
But anyway, I'm so sick of people giving me the obligatory "Are u feeling better?", then for the rest of the day, they go about doing their own selfish things without true consideration for my situation. Where's the goddamn point in that? I don't need anyone's sympathy. In fact, I feel so weak and powerless whenever people show this superficial concern for me. Or worse, joke about my health problems. It's not friggin' funny once u experience ur first chronic illness. U'll discover the intricate ironies in life. For me, being fit as a bull during NS and having my health degrade so rapidly for the past 2 years is a glaring irony in my life, which I would probably have to live with for the rest of my mortal life.
What I really need... is understanding. Without words being explicitly expressed, I know that u genuinely care for me. U'll know when I'm feeling unwell and need support. U'll know when I'm feeling well enough, that u need not openly express ur concerns, because u understand that it'll cause harm to my self-esteem if u incessantly enquire about my health. When I say that I can't make it for something cos' I'm not feeling well, or cos' I have a truckload of work to finish, u'll understand fully and graciously give me the benefit of doubt. I simply hate the vibe of skepticism I'm receiving from some important people in my life... I shan't mention names...
After popping 6 kinds of medications (impressive huh?) and several other supplements, my health has gradually stabilized. Thank God for His grace. But my emotional health might remain an uphill struggle, as deadlines of projects are running near, while having to settle the mess army created for me. All these happening while my mum is overseas, and my brother probably taking advantage of the fact that he has full control of my father's car and comes back only in the wee hours of the morning. I reckon I'd all alone in this house for the rest of the week. My mum has always been my pillar of support and I feel rather helpless without her around.
But oh well, I'll survive. With God's help. I just hope that everything gets back in order before my birthday, cos' it's shaping up dangerously to be miserable. Nothing can be worse than my 20th birthday, when I did COS duty on my actual birthday, and then denied my rights of claiming a birthday timeoff due to a last min army commitment. Right? I sincerely hope so...
To those who perservered reading all the way till here, I thank you for lending a listening ear. U might just be one of the friends who really understand me. =D I'm sorry for my pessimism recently. I promise I'll try my best to be more optimistic. =)
My friend asked me out today for a time of 'geeking' and so, I thought I could reward myself for finally completing my midterm exams, by obliging and relax for awhile. Oh man, how wrong was I. Forgot that I got 2 chapters of CS2105 (of at least 30 pages each) to read through and UNDERSTAND, cos' I missed lectures due to exam timing clashes, the corresponding assignment for MONDAY (!), and some unresolved project issues.
'Geeking'? Yeah, the hobby I have that I'm terribly ashamed of. MTG trading cards. Always have a strong resolute to quit, but somehow fail to do so everytime I try. But what a bad experience it was. I met this guy as my opponent, and he's super duper slow in making his moves, even if it's the simplest ones. It seems that his brain can't even ideally function on par with my current state, considering that I'm having massive headache bouts that more or less impede my thinking processes. -_-" I make a move within 15 secs, he makes his move on average, 2 minutes. Go figure.
Alright, that teaches me a lesson. I'll never treat my Sundays lightly ever again. They're that darn precious cos' I have a virtually full day church commitment for Saturday (or the occasional cumbersome doctor's appointment). There's a games day for our church youths next week at Sentosa, but I doubt I can make it. =( I think my cell group leader Diana is also tired of me citing doctor's appointments, study commitments to excuse myself from CGM. Sigh, I know I may appear like a wet blanket on the surface, but it really can't be helped! =S
K, on popular demand, here's a short Japanese lesson before I drift off to dreamland. Since Janet is so intent on learning crude words (-_-") I shall introduce one LOL!
As u guys know, Japanese is a language that actively display the various societal interactions. So, I shall touch on a seemingly unimportant aspect, but in reality, it's a very important aspect in defining ur politeness in speech. And that is first person pronouns (1PP), or in simpler terms, self-reference terms.
I guess most of u know the universal dummy proof 1PP term which 'watashi'. This is a very neutral term, polite and safe, so it can be used when conversing with strangers, superiors, generally people u're not really close with. But I reckon 90% of the time, Japanese use other 1PP terms to indicate and affirm affection and closer relationships.
For guys, the next neutral term to use would be 'boku'. It's slightly informal, but still can be used in respectful contexts. Most Japanese males use this term, if they want to sound a little more personal in their relationship, but do not wish to exert authority or seek attention.
If u're feeling confident of urself, being cool, hip and popular and whatnot =) , u can use 'ore'. It's considered rude and shouldn't be used when talking to superiors. This is quite serious. Guys get bullied in schools because they mistakenly used 'ore' instead of 'boku' when talking to their teachers.
For girls, there's no rude terms to self-refer oneself (sorry, Janet lol!) cos' girls are expected to be well-mannered, more so than guys. So, they use the universally cute 'atashi' to refer to themselves. It might sound trivial since 'watashi' and 'atashi' differs by a 'w' but in reality, it affects a whole lot. A guy uttering 'atashi' will sound like a bona fide gay *lol*, whereas a girl saying 'atashi' would instantly become cuter by x10. Seriously. =)
Now, for refering to others, we usually know it as 'anata'. This is also seldom used cos' it's too impersonal. 'Kimi' is the next best alternative. For guys ONLY *again*, we can use 'omae', but this is rude and should be used among close friends who we are comfortable with.
Ok, for the highlight of the post, I'll be teaching a crude way to refer to someone. That's 'TEMEE!!!' (pronounced as teh-meh). Usually used by guys during fights, but I think this word transcends gender. I mean... who cares what word u use when u're angry? I know alot of girls in Singapore who scold the F-word in the momentary rush of anger. Rofl! =D But yeah, if u wanna test the effectiveness of this word, use it and stare at any Japanese, he'll be sure to give u a black eye. Heh. =)
Hope u guys enjoyed reading and learning, as much as I enjoyed typing the post! ^^