Friendships in university
(Wednesday, July 30, 2008/11:21 PM)
Module bidding rounds have started and I know this is a sign that yet another tedious semester of school is looming over my horizon. This CORS bidding system seriously sucks! I managed to get 2 out of 4 modules, while my friends who bidded similar modules alongside with me, managed to get 1 only! Well, my friends in NTU are always lamenting about their first-come-first-serve basis system. I guess every system has its pros and cons.
After a 2 months plus hiatus, I started chatting with my friend in SoC again cos' of module bidding. Initially, we were complaining about the stupid bidding system, then somehow, we arrived at the topic of friendship in university, for some reason *lol*. It's rather funny that she and I are in the same boat, whereby our good pals are all in NTU and we have little friends in NUS, and that she shares the same views about university friends as I do.
At this stage of our lives, we've already grown accustomed to our own friends which we're already comfortable with from our teenage years. Back then, we were little innocent kids seeking pure companionship. Now as we approach adulthood, it's almost impossible to befriend someone without an agenda in mind. After all, humans tend to grow selfish, whether subtly or otherwise, once they've learnt the ways of the world and know exactly what's best for their own good.
It might not be something bad, maybe something as simple as relying on a smarter friend for projects. But the fact remains that a simple agenda might hinder the path to a great
friendship ahead. I may be making a bold statement next but I feel that it's almost an insurmountable task to find ur next best friend in university.
For the past 1 year in university, I had attempted to invest time and effort into the lives of a few individuals, hoping that we'll be at least good friends on a comfortable basis. But it seemed that I was the only one taking the initiative most of the time, and they appeared to be taking my friendship for granted.
So, rather than making myself feel disappointed for not having my good intentions reciprocated time and time again, I just distanced myself away from them. Of cos' they're still my friends! It's just that at this stage of budding adulthood, I realized it might be better to give one other personal space.
Now, I meet them occasionally and find myself enjoying their friendship better. Even though my plans on finding my next best friend have failed terribly, at least by this way, my frustrations are dissipated and I feel myself happier in their friendship, albeit on a superficial level.
There's little room and space for good friendships to blossom in university, given the style of university education, where it's fairly common to find urself disengaging with dozens of acquaintances last semester and befriending another dozens of new people next semester and the vicious cycle repeats itself.
But no matter how tiny that glimmer of hope is, I'll continue to find trustworthy people that I'll be proud to call my friend even after I graduate from NUS. I hope and pray for my friend who's facing similar problems as I do, would find her best pal soon as well! =)
posted by MightyFlameboy.
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